Tyger Tyger: The Twenty-Third Hunger Games
by LadyCordeliaStuart
Summary: Katniss mentioned that one year the arena was nothing but ice, and seventeen tributes died the first night. Here's the rest of the story.
1. Pre-note

Hello readers! This is just a little heads-up to let you know what's going on. I'm writing this story as a sort of self-devised therapy. Thing is, I'm diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, and everyone I know who knows someone with Asperger's says I fit the bill. It's hard for me to talk about it because I don't want to complain. It's also hard because when I do, people tend to say "Oh haha I'm so OCD too," and what they mean is they're "quirky" or "perfectionists". It's not like that, and it breaks my heart when people think this disease I have that affects my life every day is nothing but a "quirk". I hope that by hiding in the Hunger Games world behind the over-the-top characters and action I can write about what it's like to live with this condition and let the feelings out. I know you guys here at Fanfic tend to be nothing but supportive, so I'm hoping I might get some reviews that will help me out. I don't mean to ask you to censor yourselves or just come here and gush over me. Just please be gentle. This isn't easy. I thought about making the other tributes SYOT, but I didn't think it would be fair, since the main character is really just an avatar for me. This might not be the most realistic Games, since my avatar probably wouldn't last more than a day or two, but I'll do the best I can to make it not too ridiculous, and I even plan to incorporate some less-utilized elements from the series. Thanks for coming, and bear with me. Let's see how this goes.


	2. The Reaping

It was a nice sunny day for a Reaping. Most days are sunny here in District 10, though. Like most people in my district, I lived on a farm. In district 10 there are beef farms and there are dairy farms. My house was on a dairy farm. I was happy with that, since then at least I didn't have to kill the cows. I just had to get up every day before the sun was even up and milk them all so they didn't start bawling at us. I'd already milked them today. I was just sitting on the fence, nibbling my cheek nervously in patterns of four.

I'd gotten done with my chores extra early, since I didn't want Ma to have to worry about them. She was probably all wound up about the Reaping anyway. She'd want me to get all washed and pressed and gussied up. I don't care at all about those things, so I do whatever makes her happy. We're all alone out here since Dad got sick. We're not sure what he had, but it doesn't matter. He's dead all the same.

"Cornflower!" I heard my mother calling me. I knew there was plenty of time to get ready, but Ma hardly ever got to fuss over me, so I jumped off the fence and ran inside our little farmhouse. I stopped when I reached the threshold and stepped on it with both feet.

Ma was waiting in the main room with a hairbrush. She sat down and patted her lap.

"Aw, Ma!" I protested. My hair was only a few inches long anyway. It was longer, but one day I just woke up and felt like it was smothering me. It felt strange and alien and I just had to cut it off. I thought about shaving it, but Ma already had enough to put up with.

Ma ignored me and resolutely ran the brush through my stubs.

"Have you washed?" She asked.

"Yeah, I washed," I said sullenly. I take a bath and three days later she wants me to take another one. I wouldn't mind if I didn't have to take all my clothes off. That just felt wrong.

Ma held up a dark blue dress with little white flowers on it. I took it without comment and changed into it out of my pants. It was scratchy and rough, but she'd made it herself, and it was as good as any other dress. My fingers brushed against each other as I slipped it over my head, so I tapped them all together four times.

Ma looked me over.

"Are you ready?" she asked. She looked happy to me, but I knew she was probably pretending. I'm just not good at telling the difference.

"I'm ready. Don't worry- I'll be back soon," I said. Ma hugged me tight and I hugged her back. Ma's hugs are the best because she hugs really hard and you know she's hugging. Some people hug softly or kind of half hug and I don't know what they want. That's just confusing.

I ran down our dirt driveway and stopped at the end to wave at Ma, who was watching from the door. Then I ran on until I reached town. The Reaping center had a few people milling about, but there was still plenty of room. I came early, since I don't like crowds.

A lady in a white gown asked for my hand. I shoved it in her direction and looked resolutely away, pretending I was somewhere else and distancing myself entirely from my hand. Her skin was damp and it pressed awfully on mine as she took a drop of blood. As soon as she was done I snatched my hand back and tucked it away.

I took my place at the end of a line of other seventeen-year-old girls. They kept brushing against me and I shied away, folding myself into my dress. I stared down at my shoes and nibbled more forcefully at my cheek.

_Just a few more minutes. Few more minutes. Few more minutes. Minutes. Minutes. Minutes. More minutes. More minutes, _I thought as I waited. I closed my eyes and stood completely still.

I heard more girls gathering around me, and finally a microphone broke through the scene. I looked up to see a man dressed in a powder blue suit covered in gold glitter. I recognized him as the District 10 escort, but I didn't remember his name. Names are like that. They go in one ear and out the other. I wouldn't even recognize his face if I saw him on the street. I only knew him because he was wearing Capitol clothes.

Our escort gave the normal speech. I didn't listen, but I had it all memorized anyway. Sometimes the words got into my head and I repeated them until they faded away. They wanted me to say them more. I could make them quiet down, but they were never silent.

I started paying attention when our escort walked over to a glass bowl filled with paper.

"Ladies first!" he said brightly. He plunged in his hand and fished out a slip of paper.

"Cornflower Fields!" he announced.

_Cornflower Fields. Fields. Fields. Wait, that's me! That's me that's me that's me that's me, _I thought. I started walking toward the stage without thinking. It didn't seem real. Nothing ever really did. It was like I was always waiting for life to actually start, and I didn't know if it ever would.

I walked up the stairs to the stage. One, two, three steps.

_Three steps three steps ugh I hate three three steps three steps, _I thought as I walked. I stepped with each foot on one step and jumped over the third, suppressing a shudder. Three is a terrible number. It's ugly and nasty and mean. It was all I could think about as I stood next to the jar.

Our escort called the male tribute, and Leather Sod joined me on the stage. He was a slip of a boy, and I didn't recognize him. I didn't recognize anyone except our escort. I don't leave the farm much. Our escort said something, and Leather took my hand. I jerked away slightly, but I remembered that wasn't polite, and I tried to squeeze back in a friendly way while I died inside.

"Let's have a round of applause for our District Ten tributes, Cornflower Fields and Leather Sod!"


	3. Chapter 3

I sat in a bare room with metal walls as I waited for my mother. At least it was better than the Reaping center. The room was small and the walls kept me safe and closed in. There were no people. It was just quiet- so quiet I could hear my breaths. I leaned back against the wall and felt it pressing back on me like an old friend.

The door opened, and Ma walked in. She stood in the entryway and stared at me like she'd already lost me. She didn't say anything, but she was trembling.

I ran to her and grabbed her tight. This time, a hug wasn't so bad. She wrapped her arms around me and we knelt on the floor, tangled up in each other. She rocked me gently without speaking.

"It's okay, Ma," I said. "I'll be back soon." It felt like I would be. I didn't think I would win the Games or anything like that. It just seemed like this was a passing interruption in our routine. I'd go off, train awhile, die, and then come back home and everything would be normal. It was really no big deal.

"I love you," Ma whispered raggedly.

"Love you too," I said.

We picked ourselves up off the floor and stood together. Ma ran her fingers through my hair. If there's a better feeling in the world than that, I don't know it.

A Peacekeeper walked up next to us.

"Ma'am, you have to go now," he said. He left ahead of her and waited outside.

"It's all right," I said to Ma. "You'll see me onscreen soon."

Mom paused in the doorway and turned back.

"I love you, honey," she repeated.

"Love you too," I said.

Then she was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

It took me about five minutes on the train to the Capitol to decide that I liked trains- or at least this train. The tracks were secure and straight. I didn't have to count the turns to make sure the left and right turns were even. The train itself was enclosed and sleek like a bullet. It rumbled rhythmically underneath me and every few seconds there was a soft jerk as it hit the join between two tracks. It was wonderfully constant.

I think I met more people on that train than I had meant in months back home. There was our escort, who I found out was named Fluvius all this time. Our meeting was less than ideal.

"I'm so excited to meet you, miss Cornflower!" he gushed as soon as I was aboard. He grabbed my hand and pumped it wildly. I had just come from a crowd of hundreds of screaming, jostling people. I winced before I could stop myself and shrank back. Fluvius didn't even notice.

"We have so much to talk about! What do you do back at home?" he asked.

"I farm," I said in confusion. We all farm in District 10. What kind of question is that?

"No, I mean for fun," Fluvius said with a laugh.

I smiled in relief and relaxed a little. Sometimes when I answer questions that like people think I'm sassing them.

"I read," I said.

"That's it? No grand adventures?" Fluvius pressed.

"I got kicked by a cow," I said solemnly.

Fluvius laughed like I'd told him I ate hay. I didn't see what was so funny. Obviously he'd never been kicked by a cow.

Fluvius soon realized I wasn't going to chat. He let me sit down and started talking with Leather. I stared out the window at the moving scenery. As they talked I scooted away until I was on the edge of the seat. They didn't mind. Perhaps they weren't so bad after all.

I felt the smooth material of the couch. It was shiny and felt almost wet against my hand. I liked the way it squeaked when I dragged my hand across it, so I ran my hand back and forth over it again and again. It was always the same.

"You two must be starving!" Fluvius said suddenly. I startled at the noise and looked up at him and Leather.

"I guess," Leather said. I figured that was enough and stayed quiet.

Fluvius pressed a button under the table we were sitting next to. A man and a woman came in from the next car carrying covered trays. They laid them on the table and uncovered them. One held a slimy looking thing with staring eyes. Another held a basket of bread, pats of butter, and a bowl of tiny fruits.

"I thought you two might like a special treat, so I sent for fresh halibut all the way from District 4," Fluvius said.

"Thanks," Leather said politely. I chimed in at the same time, but it was so quiet if Fluvius hadn't been looking at me he wouldn't have known.

Fluvius looked at us expectantly. Leather started eating tentatively, but I waited. I don't like eating in front of people. It wouldn't be so bad if Fluvius was eating too and not staring at me.

"How is it?" Fluvius turned and asked Leather. As soon as he turned his head I wolfed down a mouthful of fish. It tasted much better than it looked. It was stronger than beef, and softer too. I smiled when Fluvius looked back at me.

"Oh, wonderful. You like it," Fluvius said.

I continued my covert meal until I'd managed to smear enough food around to convince Fluvius that I was full. He took that to mean that I wanted more food, so he rang for the servants again. This time only the woman came. She was holding a three-tiered silver plate heaped with chocolates and little cakes.

"Time for dessert!" Fluvius announced, and it all began again.

After I absolutely could not eat any more, I took a cake in one hand and picked at it so it looked like I was eating. They really were delicious, but the thought of anything sweet in my mouth made me sick.

Fluvius stood up.

"I'll go prepare your rooms. Back in a minute!" he flounced off.

I waited until the door shut and picked all the wrapped chocolates off the plate. I'd been a guest before, and asking for food was out of the question. It was bad enough to eat in front of people. Talking about food wasn't going to happen, so I took food when I could get it. I shoved the chocolates in my pocket as Leather stared on.

A few minutes later Fluvius came back in and ushered us two cars down. He stopped us next to two doors.

"Here are your rooms. I'm sure you've had a very exciting day, so you probably want to settle in. If you need anything, just ring the bell by the door," he said.

I opened the door and slipped inside my room, closing the door behind me. It was certainly fancier than my room back home. There was a huge bed smothered in shiny white blankets. In the corner there was a hollowed-out red chair and a black stone table with one arched leg. There was even another room in my room. I opened the door and was slightly disappointed to see it was only a bathroom. It was a nice bathroom, though. It even had a bathtub. Why anyone would need a bathtub on a train is beyond me.

It was already dark outside, and I climbed into the bed without taking my dress off. I pulled the blankets all the way over my head and reclined flat on my back with my arms at my sides. That way I wouldn't have to keep track and make sure I slept evenly on both sides.

It always takes me a long time to fall asleep, and I was a little wound up after being Reaped and all. Then I noticed I hadn't turned the light off. I got up and flipped the switch, but then it was too dark. At home I used a little wind-up flashlight, but for now I turned on the bathroom light and cracked the door open.

I tried to think about what was happening as I lay in bed, but it still seemed far away and unimportant. I just felt a nagging sense of something wrong, but it had more to do with the disturbance in my routine than anything else.

I closed my eyes and listened to the rhythm of the train. It bounced me up and down and soon I was clenching my hands in time with it. A sick sense of pressure started building in my chest, and I moved to ward it off.

_It's gonna be all right, _I thought in sync with the train. _Gonna be all right. Gonna be all right. All right. All right. Right. Right. Right. Gonna be all right…_


	5. Chapter 5

I thought surely that train had to be the most luxurious thing in the world. As soon as I saw the Capitol I knew I was wrong. The Games center was only one building, but I could have lived in there my entire life. There was an entire floor just for the kitchen, and another one just for us twenty-four kids. My room was as big as one of the train cars. It had a squishy bed filled with water, a giant window overlooking the Capitol, a million buttons and switches I was too afraid to push, and a bathroom made of nothing but smooth, glistening pure-white stone. Best of all, there was the Refreshment slot.

The Refreshment slot was a little nook in the wall next to the head of my bed. I knew "refreshment" was a fancy word for food, so I figured I couldn't go too wrong pushing that button. I tapped the glass covering and it lit up.

TYPE OF REFRESHMENT? The machine prompted with glowing letters. A list underneath read:

APPETIZER

MAIN COURSE

SOUP

SALAD

DESSERT

LIGHT REFRESHMENT

I wasn't actually that hungry, so I tapped "light refreshment". The list changed.

SALTY

SWEET

SAVORY

I chose sweet. I figured I wasn't about to get fat now.

CANDY

CHOCOLATE

OTHER

_CANDY?! _No choice there. I pressed the screen and a handful of rainbow-colored flat circles dropped out of a chute in the top of the cubby. I gathered them up and sorted them in lines by color.

I picked a blue up and looked it over. It was sticky and a little squishy. I popped it in my mouth.

It tasted like nothing I'd ever had in my life. It was like some fruit mixed with bubbly sugar, and I loved it.

I quickly ate the rest of the candies, making sure to eat them by color so the numbers stayed even. The red one tasted like strawberries, the yellow one tasted like the lemonade powder Ma bought sometimes, and the orange one tasted a little like the yellow one. I still didn't know what the blue one was.

I looked around guiltily, then pressed the button again. Another handful of candies sprinkled into the slot.

I looked around once more. No one was there. I felt so childish, waiting to be caught, but I was always so afraid that someone was in the most obvious place and I'd feel like a complete idiot when I realized it.

_Oh, why not? _I thought at last. I pushed the button three more times.

I decided I was never leaving that room.


	6. Training

A lot of the districts had mentors that gave their tributes the best chance they could, but District 10 wasn't that lucky. It did have a silver lining, though- I managed to stay in my room an entire day for Fluvius popped in and said I should probably start training. I ignored him, but after he popped in another four times I'd had enough. I found Leather and walked behind him to the training center.

The other tributes were already there. I'd watched all the Reapings, but the faces blurred together. I recognized the District 1 girl, Chrysolite, by her bright pink hair. I figured the five athletic-looking tributes around her were the other Careers. They've had quite a winning streak lately. They didn't even look up as we entered.

Leather went straight for the snare station. He must wrangle the cows back home. I walked around the perimeter of the room and looked at all of the stations. There were plenty of weapons stations- swords, maces, clubs, archery, and other weapons I didn't recognize. I knew there wasn't much chance of me doing any damage with any of those, so I passed them by. I noticed the edible plant station was deserted. The trainer, a smiling old lady, looked at me as I walked by.

_All right, why not? She looks lonely, _I thought. I sat down next to her and tried to find the courage to say hello.

"Would you like to see some useful plants?" the woman asked. She didn't jump up or try to get me to shake hands.

"Yes, please," I said.

The woman showed me to a long table covered in bowls filled with plants. She showed me that some of them, like the spiky white berries, were poisonous. Others, like the cattails, were good to eat. I picked one up and bit into it. It tasted like a mouthful of cat tail.

"Yuck," I said, and I spat it out.

The woman laughed.

"It'll taste better when you're hungry," she said. She showed me the rest of the plants. There was a test at the end, but I skipped it. I knew I'd remember. I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached, but once something is in there it's in there for good.

I waved goodbye to the plants trainer and moved on. The fire-making station didn't seem like a good idea, since fires would attract attention. The shelter-making station seemed better. The trainer there told me that there's always shelter if you know where to look. He showed me how to make shelters with branches, rocks, grass, and even snow in a special little chamber. He also told me a few tips on where to make a shelter- on high ground, not too close to water, things like that.

I stuck close to Leather during lunch. The Careers sat together at a table, and most of the district partners sat together at other tables. I asked Leather how his training went.

"I learned a lot of snares," Leather said. "I don't about the other tributes, but I won't go hungry."

I listened as he talked about his lessons and the tributes he met. There was Lure, the girl from Four. The two from 12 were the friendliest, since 12 and 10 are both pretty poor. Their names were Dust and Fissure, and they sat at the next table over.

_Should I ask him to be my ally? _I thought. _He wouldn't want to be my ally. Besides, we're district partners. We're pretty much allies already._

I spent the rest of training time at the edible plants station. After I'd examined all the plants enough to know half of them just by smell, I just sat and listened to the trainer as she told stories about the plants and legends about their origins.

The next day of training was much like the first. I tried out the agility rope course. That was a resounding failure. There aren't many trees in 10. I decided I didn't miss them. I watched the pair from 3 blaze through the circuitry and electricity station. I knew I didn't have a chance there, so I was just enjoying the show.

That night in my room, I thought about what I would do for my private session. I had no skill with any weapon whatsoever. I couldn't very well shelter another tribute to death. I wasn't even especially strong or fast.

_You have to do something. They're all going to be looking at you, _I thought. _Looking at me. Watching me. Watching me move. All those eyes._

My chest tightened. It felt like a swelling balloon in my ribcage, filled with sickness and fear. I started breathing slowly and deeply.

Tears welled in my eyes.

_It's gonna be okay. Gonna be okay. Gonna be okay, _I thought. I laid facedown on the floor next t my bed and covered my head with my arms. I concentrated on thinking about nothing.

I curled into a ball and wrapped my arms around my legs. I rocked back and forth gently.

_Tyger tiger burning bright. Tyger tiger burning bright. Tyger tyger. Burning bright. Burning bright. Bright. Bright._

It was an old poem I'd heard long ago. It always seemed to ease the urges when they got really bad. The words stretched out into letters and felt completely right. I was doing my duty. I was saying the words. Every time I said them my duty was to say them again. I sat and cried and invoked them with increasing desperation.

_Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger. Tyger._


	7. Private Session

"Cornflower Fields," the loudspeaker blared. I stood up off the bench the tributes were sitting on and looked back at Leather.

"It's you," he confirmed. "Go on, you'll do fine."

I walked up to the door and stopped.

_Is it really me? Am I supposed to go now? I won't go in and someone else will be in the middle of their session?_

I closed my eyes and opened the door. The room was empty, and I sagged in relief. I looked up and saw an assortment of people watching me from behind a glass screen.

"You have five minutes," the loudspeaker said.

I looked around at the supplies. There was a table covered in bows of various sizes, and a barrel filled with arrows. There was a pile of wood for starting fires. A row of dummies with targets painted on them stood against the far wall. A rack of spears was next to the door, and the ceiling was covered in ropes and obstacle courses.

_What can I do? _I thought. _I'm no good with weapons. I'm not especially strong or fast._

Then my eyes fell on a blinking screen on one wall. It was flashing plants at me.

_At least it's something._

I walked to the screen and matched all the healthy and poisonous plants without hesitation. I looked up at the glass when I was done and saw some of the people were looking at me a little more closely. I shuddered.

_I still have four minutes left, _I thought. _What can I do? Do they have to _look _at me? There's nowhere to hide in here. It's open and awful. _

I stood behind the bow table to gain a little shelter. Then I had an idea. I swept the bows to the floor and flipped the table on its side. I grabbed a handful of spears and laid them across the table, forming a tent skeleton. I knocked over the arrow barrel and dropped handfuls of arrows across the spears. Soon I had a serviceable thatch roof. I crawled between the legs of the table and curled up in my little shelter. I stayed there until the timer sounded.

Later that night, I sat with Leather in a lounge in the middle of the tribute's room floor. After two garish commenters talked about uninteresting things for a while, the screen changed to reveal the tributes' scores. The tributes from Districts 1 and 2 scored from 8-11, and after that the numbers sort of blurred. I looked up again when it was District 11's turn.

_Leather Sod- 7_

Leather smiled hesitantly.

"That's great, Leather!" Fluvius cheered. "I knew you could do it, you old cowboy!"

I waited a few seconds for my name to come.

_Cornflower Fields- 6_

_ Six? I didn't even do anything. I looked at some plants and hid, _I thought. I had thought for sure I had gotten closer to a 3.

Fluvius squealed and grabbed me in a bear hug. It was so solid and he was so nice that I didn't even mind. I just squished into him and smiled. I knew I still didn't have a chance, and I didn't know how I was going to get through the next day. But I'd made it through today, and that was all I could expect.


	8. Interview

I soon found out that preparing for my interview was worse than getting Reaped. Three cooing ladies felt over every inch of uncovered skin and then informed me that it was time to strip. I don't take my clothes off. I shower twice a week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays. And that's bad enough. It's just not right to be naked. By the time they got my shirt off I was crying. They patted me on the back and fussed worriedly. They finally let me wear the tiniest pair of panties I had ever seen. I sat curled in on myself on a table as they scrubbed me all over with soaps and oils and everything they could think of. I finally got so overwhelmed I didn't even care anymore. I just broke away and let it go.

They ripped all the hair off my legs and plucked every last bit of fuzz from my body. I felt as smooth as a river pebble and my skin was red and tingly. If they were supposed to make me look nice, they weren't doing a very good job.

My stylists decided that since I was from 10, I should be a pretty cowgirl- like every District 10 female tribute for the last 10 years. They descended on me and stuffed me into purple leather cowboy boots, a white skirt with blue trim, and a denim button-up shirt over a white blouse. They ruined any trace of realism they had by covering me with pink lipstick, blue eyeshadow, gobs of mascara, red blush for a "sun-kissed" look, and a red suede cowboy hat. I looked perfectly ridiculous, but at least I fit right in.

I found Leather and sat next to him as we waited backstage to be interviewed.

"Presenting _Seutonius Cathode!" _I heard an announcer bellow. At least I would know his name. Leather and I waited in silence as twenty tributes went before us. Leather was stuck wearing denim pants covered in patches and a gigantic red kerchief. I felt normal next to him.

A stagehand came back and shooed me onto the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Cornflower Fields of District 10!"

_Oh no oh no can't I just stay here it's nice and dark and quiet back here, _I thought as he nudged me into the light. The spotlights found me and the crowd erupted into applause. I looked at the floor and scurried to the open chair next to Seutonius hurriedly. I was too scared to think about crying. Everything faded and seemed surreal. Surely I couldn't really be in front of that many people. It couldn't be so noisy I could feel it. I crossed my legs, folded my hands in my lap and focused on Seutonius' nose. People don't like it if I don't look at their eyes. I hate looking at eyes because they look back. If I looked at their nose it was close enough and they didn't notice.

Seutonius was wearing a bright green suit to match his hair. He was smothered in makeup and glitter shone on his face. He was older than I had expected. I didn't mind that. It made him look like a nice grandpa. He stayed seated as I approached and smiled warmly at me when I sat down. I smiled back reflexively, but it faded quickly and I looked at him nervously.

"So nice to meet you, Cornflower. How do you like the Capitol?"

"It's very loud," I said.

Seutonius looked at me sympathetically for an instant and then turned to the crowd.

"You hear that, folks? Are you loud?" he asked. The crowd burst into an explosion of cheers and whistles. I curled my legs under the chair and waited for it to be over.

"Do you have any plans for the arena?" Seutonius asked me.

"I'm going to stay away from the other tributes," I said.

"_There's _a plan, folks, am I right?" Seutonius called to the crowd. There were scattered cheers.

"I wish we had more time, Cornflower, but I'm sure you're very busy," Seutonius said. "Before you go, tell us why you're going to win the Hunger Games."

I thought for a minute.

"I probably won't," I said. "Probably one of the Careers will."

"So modest! I think a lot of people are underestimating you," Seutonius said. "Let's have a big round of applause for Cornflower Fields!"

I jumped up and darted offstage. Leather smiled at me as I walked past. I swept by and didn't stop until I got back to my room. I shut the door and curled up by the bed.

_Too many people too many people, _I thought. _I'm just going to stay here and be alone for a while. Nice and quiet here. Nobody else, just me._

My room was too big and open. One door between me and the world wasn't enough. I went into the bathroom and shut that door too. I felt the cool smooth stone floor press against me and felt it back. The bathroom was still bigger than my room back home, so I crawled into the bathtub and curled inside it. I got out, grabbed a fluffy white towel, jumped back into the tub and draped it over myself.

_Just right. Small, quiet, nobody else. Quiet, alone, just right. It's gonna be all right. It's gonna be all right._


	9. The Games Begin

The day of the games, I stood shivering in the prep room as my stylists fussed and prodded and held up different lipsticks and powders. I wasn't sure why they wanted me to look so nice when I was about to die, but it made them so happy. Besides, I'd never have to put up with it again.

One of them handed me a thick white shirt and light gray pants. They looked me over one last time and declared me ready.

"Do good, honey," one of them said with a sniffle.

"You're so quiet you'll sneak right away," said the second.

The third one dabbed at her eyes with a napkin.

"We'll miss you," she said. "You come back now, you hear?"

She scooped me into a big hug. The other two lost it completely and then I was in the middle of a three-way group hug. It wasn't as bad as a single hug. I felt like a chick surrounded by three mother hens.

"Room for one more?" I heard a voice from the door. Fluvius held out his arms and piled in with the ladies.

The chute in the corner lit up and beeped softly. My retinue broke apart and watched me with puppy eyes as I climbed into the tube. It closed around me and lifted slowly. I waved goodbye, bending further and further down until they were all lost to sight.

I looked up at the sky above me. The ground was still a few feet above my head, and I couldn't see the arena yet. The platform rose until my eyes were above the ground. There was a whole lot of white. White, white, white. The sun blazed off it and dazzled me. I squinted into it and looked around the arena.

It was a frozen wasteland. A solid black cornucopia sat on a field of pristine snow. The cornucopia was the highest point on an arena that sloped downward, like we were on top of a mountain. There was a cluster of pine trees behind the cornucopia. Behind my platform there was a slope dotted with rocky outcroppings. Numbers flashed in the sky.

_60, 59, 58…_

The cold air shocked me as the pocket of warmth from the tube blew away in the wind. It was colder than it had ever been back home. It was like the wind was biting my cheeks and sucking all my heat away. My breath curled away from me in a misty cloud.

_44, 43, 42…_

I looked at the tributes around me. There was the girl from 12 and a boy I didn't recognize. The nearest career was three platforms over. I didn't think to look for Leather.

_31, 30, 29…_

I knew I wasn't going for the Cornucopia. I could see it was full of weapons, clothing and food, but I knew I'd never get there. Smaller prizes littered the snow around the Cornucopia.

_19,18,17…_

I was shivering. Wherever I ran, I'd better find a place to get out of this wind.

_5, 4, 3, 2, 1_

_ "Let the twenty-third Hunger Games begin!"_


	10. Bloodbath

I darted off the platform and found out at the same time as all the other tributes that the ground wasn't snow after all. It was ice. I fell flat on my bottom and scrambled to my feet. The slipperiness completely dissuaded me from running in any further, so I doubled back and sprinted toward the sloping cliffs. As I passed my platform I saw a belt with a tiny bag attached and a jar. I scooped them up without stopping and ran until the Cornucopia was out of sight. I heard shrieks and screams from around the Cornucopia. I knew it should have bothered me. I felt sick for the way I reacted, but all I could think was that if a tribute was killing someone else, they weren't killing me.

The screaming stopped quickly. I half slid and half ran until the ground flattened out. The scattered pine trees and rocky cliffs blocked my view of the Cornucopia, which meant I was safely out of sight. I looked around, and the only break in the icy void was a few belts of trees which weren't thick enough to hide in but were thick enough that I couldn't see through them.

At the bottom of the hill the snow was a foot deep and soft. I stood at the edge of the ice and looked out. Either I left tracks or I stayed close enough that the other tributes would be sure to find me. I opted for the tracks.

I ran through the nearest line of trees to further reduce the chance I would be seen, but the tracks I left foiled that plan. I was relieved to see the snow on the far side of the trees was hard again. The cold air left my throat raw and I tasted blood as I panted. There were two clumps of trees on the icy patch. I picked the one on the left and kept going. I didn't stop until the tip of the hill was on edge of the horizon. At that point the threat of other tributes became secondary to the threat of freezing. I sat at the foot of a pine tree and took inventory of my supplies.

The belt bag held a compass, a plastic bag filled with cotton balls, and a compass. I had no idea what I could use a compass for. I knew the cotton balls were for starting fires, but I'd have to be a lot colder to try that. At least it was better than nothing. I unscrewed the top of the jar and found that it was full of peanut butter. I wouldn't go hungry, but it was far from a balanced diet.

A cannon boomed, and I jumped. The Bloodbath was over. That meant two things: a lot of tributes were dead, and the survivors would start looking for more kills.

I counted six cannons. It wasn't a particularly violent Bloodbath. One year half the tributes died in the first twenty minutes. The thought of death brought me back to the matter at hand. The first thing I needed was shelter. I could feel my fingers freezing already. My ears were cold to the touch and they felt like they were burning. I didn't want to know how cold it would get after the sun set.

I looked at the sky. The sun was already dipping low. The Gamemakers must have started the Games in the afternoon.

My first thought for shelter was the trees, but none of them had branches lower than ten feet off the ground. I remembered my experience with the rope course and discarded that plan. Most of the tributes were probably in the nooks and crannies on the hill. The career pack would be nice and cozy in the Cornucopia.

As I searched among the trees, I noticed one that had fallen over. I got on my hands and knees and crawled along its length. It had carved a shallow depression in the ice on the ground. I squeezed into it. There was just enough room for me to lie flat, with about two inches between my head and the trunk. I looked out and I could just barely see a sliver of ground beside the tree.

_It's shelter, _I thought. _But it's still freezing. I can't spend a night like this. _I slid back out and snapped off a handful of branches. I lined the bottom of the hollow with them and climbed back in. They were scratchy and my hands were sticky with sap, but it wasn't as cold. Before I went in I looked at the sky. The sun was already setting, and it seemed to cut the temperature in half. My fingers stiffened and refused to move. I felt my ears and couldn't tell if it was them or my fingers I couldn't feel. I burrowed under the pine needles, wrapped the belt around my ears and head, and snuggled in. I tucked my hands against my stomach and gasped as the freezing skin touched my belly.

I focused on regulating my breathing and staying still. As long as I stayed perfectly still, nothing could happen. I was safe and warm in my little hidey-hole. It was quiet and solitary. I was probably the only tribute who went so far from the Cornucopia. There was nothing I could do but wait until morning.

A cannon went off.

_Someone froze to death, _I thought.

Another cannon came a few minutes later. I lay curled up in my nest for hours, and the only break in the silence was cannon after cannon. I tried not to count, but each one echoed in my head.

_Five, five, five. Six, six, six._

The night wore on without the Anthem playing. Usually it played about an hour after the sun was fully set. It wasn't morning when it played. The sun hadn't even started rising yet, but it seemed somehow a little less dark when the first note blared from the sky, causing me to jerk up and hit my head on the trunk. I poked my head out cautiously and watched the sky.

The Anthem finished, and the first face appeared. I didn't know him. Next was the boy from 3. That meant the first face was a Career. They hardly ever died on the first day. Maybe their alliance had already broken. The girl from three was next. The alliance was still together after all. Lure was next, and then what looked like her district partner. Another boy and girl followed, then two girls, a boy, a boy and a girl, and-

Leather.

I watched as Leather's face blinked away. I wondered if he'd died in the Bloodbath or frozen to death. I hoped it was the latter. I knew it was wrong that he died. I knew he was a priceless, irreplaceable human being that was gone forever. But it didn't make me sad. It didn't make me feel anything. He was there, and then he was gone. I couldn't change it and life went on. I wanted to cry for him and feel the pain he deserved. I was as cold as the arena, and it would never change. I hoped he had someone to mourn him properly.

Four more faces followed. Eleven and Twelve were all gone. Seventeen tributes were gone. Seventeen children were dead, and I didn't feel a thing. I didn't know which was worse.


	11. Chapter 11

The sun rose, and the air warmed slightly. It was still frigid, and I didn't leave my shelter. I didn't see any reason to in any case. There was warmth and food in here. Out there were tributes and cold.

My plan was interrupted after about ten seconds. It was then I realized that I was absolutely parched, and there was no water in my hole.

I scooted halfway out of my pit and scooped up a handful of snow. I was about to put it in my mouth when I remembered something the shelter-making instructor had said.

"_If you need water, don't think you can use snow. It'll just make you thirstier." _

I didn't remember the reason, but such a contradictory statement had stuck with me. He'd said something about the water having to be liquid, not snow or ice.

_How am I going to melt this? _I thought. I couldn't make a fire. I didn't want to attract every one of the other six tributes. Maybe I could use the sun, but I'd need a cup or something. I had a belt bag, some cotton balls, and a compass.

Hold it. I had one more thing.

I dumped out the cotton balls into the belt bag and plopped the snow into the clear bag the cotton balls came in. I pinched the top shut and laid the bag of snow just under the sun just outside my hole.

Nothing happened. I guess I shouldn't have expected the snow to instantly zap into a puddle.

I opened my jar of peanut butter while I waited and twirled a bunch on my finger.

_I probably need a lot of food to keep warm, _I thought. I licked it off.

Bad idea. It coated my dry tongue like paint and smearing it off was like peeling off a layer of skin. I sat running my tongue over the roof of my mouth and wiping at my lips for a good few minutes.

_Now I'm even thirstier. Great._

I poked at the snow every few minutes. A tiny smidge of water sat in one corner, but the rest was stubbornly solid.

"All right, that's it," I said. I grabbed the bag with both hands and squeezed it. The warmth of my hands quickly melted a layer of the snow.

_Cornflower, how slow can you be?_

I tucked the bag under my shirt. I shuddered and grimaced at the freezing cold against my tender belly, but within a minute I had a nice little puddle of water. It was only half the size of the snowball, but it was better than nothing. I drank it and refilled the bag with twice as much snow, snacking on peanut butter while it melted.

_I can just stay here a while. Maybe the whole Games. It won't be comfy but it beats meeting anyone else, _I thought.

The Careers were probably out looking for me and the other three tributes. If they were smart they'd hole up in the Cornucopia and wait. Those of us that didn't freeze would starve soon enough.

Every time I shifted I felt my cocoon of body heat slip away. The idea of getting up and facing the bitter cold full-on was unimaginable, so the rest of the day was spent lying on my side in a cramped, chilly hollow. Before I knew it my peanut butter was half gone and the sun was setting. The subtle, nagging pain from the cold kept the boredom away.

_No one died today, _I thought. I knew I should have been happy, or at least sad that the Games would drag on another day. Somehow I wasn't ready to accept such a peaceful day until it was completely gone. Something would go wrong.

The sun disappeared and the cold returned in force. I looked at my bag of water.

_I don't want that by me all night, _I thought, so I drank it. I wasn't sure if drinking cold water was a good idea, but I knew drinking no water was. It sat like an ice chunk in my stomach. Hours later I could still feel it.

A wind blew up, and the temperature dipped lower. The Gamemakers were probably trying to spice things up after such a boring day. Even down in my pit, the wind sliced over me and the air felt like jabbing little bursts of needles. I shivered violently and shoved my hands against my stomach. Even my stomach wasn't warm. That didn't seem good. I nestled my head down inside my shirt and covered every possible inch of skin with fabric. It was like trying to sleep in an ice cube. I felt my fingers stiffen, and then my hands and feet. Soon the only movement I could make was the shivering.

A cannon blasted right outside my shelter. I jerked up and heat shot through my veins.

_What was that? Did I just die? There is no way death is this cold, _I thought. But who was it?

_Oh shoot are the Careers out there killing someone? No, even they wouldn't be out in this weather. Someone must have frozen to death right outside my hole. I didn't even hear them. Wait a minute…_

I scrambled madly and flopped on the snow outside of my hole. The cold burned my rigid fingers. The air was so frozen it felt like a solid wall of ice. It was dark and the wind stung my eyes, but I could make out the huddled form of a tribute lying against the nearest pine tree. I crawled next to it.

_What were you doing outside in the middle of the night? _I wanted to shout at it. Instead I grabbed at it and looked it over.

It was a boy, but that was all I could tell in the dark. He wasn't holding anything. I couldn't imagine how he'd survived this long. I grabbed at his pants with wooden fingers and tugged them off his body. Next came the shirt, and then his shoes. I peeled his socks off and crawled back into my hole. I was so cold I didn't have the energy to shiver. Every twitch of my face snapped and crinkled the skin. Only the heat pounding through my body got me back to my hole.

I slid into my pile of pine needles and wrapped the pants around my lower body. The shirt went over my head and I slid my hands into the socks. They were stiff with cold when I first touched them, but my body heat soon softened them. It was still excruciatingly cold, but I managed to start shivering again.

I thought of the boy lying on the ice. I didn't even know his name or what district he was from. He was just another dead tribute now. I hadn't even hesitated to rip the clothes off his body. A hovercraft was probably picking up his defiled corpse now. I wished I'd said something.

I uncurled a teeny bit and peeked at the sliver of snow visible outside my hole.

"Sorry you died," I whispered. "Thank you very much for the clothes."

It didn't seem like enough, but I didn't mean it to be flippant. It was all I had.


	12. Chapter 12

_There's probably only a day or two left, _I thought the next morning. Six people were left- me, one other tribute, and four Careers. They'd probably kill me and the other tribute, then attack each other.

I didn't even know who the other tribute was. I'd been too cold to watch the sky the night before and see the face of the frozen boy. He must have been from Six. That left one other girl.

I laid out the clothes I'd taken from the frozen boy. I slipped the shirt over my own. It was a little extra layer of warmth, and it made the arena almost pleasantly chilly. The pants were too tight to go over my pants. They were made of a stretchy material. I found a seam and ripped them apart into four long strips. I wrapped one strip around my head like a scarf. Another went around my mouth and nose. The third I wrapped around my waist like a sash for a little more extra warmth. I couldn't figure out what to do with the last one, so I put it in my belt bag.

The finest treasure of all was the socks. They made things harder to pick up at first, but as they warmed my frozen fingers I was able to move them freely for the first time in two days. I rubbed them over my cold cheeks and relished the warm softness.

A cannon sounded in the distance. I jumped and waited for another.

There was nothing. I'd hoped the Careers had broken apart prematurely. It wasn't the case. Now it was just me and them.

_Guess I'm next, _I thought. _I made it pretty far, seeing as I have pretty much no skills._

I didn't entertain any notion that I had a chance, but I thought I might as well make the Careers work for their final kill, so I stayed put in my shelter. My jar of peanut butter was down to a few smears, but I figured I could last one more day before venturing out for food. Then I thought of something.

The cannon sounded like it was a long way off. It sounded like it was all the way around the mountain. The Careers were on the other side of the arena. If I wanted to move, now was the time.

_I don't know, _I thought. _It's big and scary out there. It's wide open with nowhere to hide. My hole is nice and cozy. I like it in here._

I curled up stubbornly and tried to push the thought away.

_The Careers have plenty of food. They can just wait up there until you have to come out. They can split up and cover the whole Arena. Well, I don't think so! They're gonna have to do better than that._

I edged closer to the hole that led out of my tunnel. Halfway out I froze.

_No it's big and scary out there out there it's better in here. Don't wanna don't wanna don't wanna._

I took a deep breath and poked my head out. There was nothing out there but the trees.

I looked at the tree the tribute had been under last night. A hovercraft had come for him, but the snow was disturbed.

_There, now isn't it good you came out? You have to clean up that mess._

I broke off a branch from near the trunk of a pine tree, so the Careers wouldn't see it. I brushed it over the disturbed area until it looked as smooth as the rest of the snow. There were no tracks to cover, since the wind had blown them away.

I felt terribly exposed and conspicuous outside my hole. I looked around constantly to find the tributes I knew had to be watching me. My breathing sped up and I nervously tapped my fingers together.

_You're out here now, Cornflower. See if you can find anything useful._

I examined the pine branch I held. It looked like something the cows wouldn't eat back home. I thought back to the edible plants instructor.

_"Every part of a pine tree is edible. You can take out the seeds and eat them. You can boil the cones and make tea from the needles."_

I looked the tree over for cones and seeds. There were plenty of needles, but I had no way to make tea.

The cones were smaller than my thumb. I couldn't even see the nuts. There went that plan.

_"You can even peel off the outer bark and eat the inside bark raw."_

I looked at the stick.

_That's nasty. Nasty nasty nasty._

_ You wanna try the Cornucopia instead? Didn't think so._

I snapped an armload of inner twigs and carted them back to my shelter. I rearranged my cover branches so only a tiny hole for sunlight showed and set to work.

I tried to shuck the outer layer of bark off, but it wouldn't go. It chipped and oozed goopy sap and all I got was a sticky twig covered in scraps of bark. The edible plants lady had said the best way to eat bark was to fry it. I decided raw couldn't be too bad. I picked a twig and started gnawing.

It tasted like wood. It was a like trying to eat a pile of slivers. Bits and pieces stuck in my teeth and no matter how much I chewed it didn't get any softer. I gave up and carefully swallowed it. It scratched my throat on the way down and I drank a bag of water to try to get it down.

_I guess I'm not hungry enough yet, _I thought. _But when I am, I'll be ready._

After cleaning up after the tribute, picking the branches, stripping them off, trying to eat one, heating up a bag of water, and drinking it, it was already afternoon.

There was another cannon.

_What was that? _I thought in shock. Another cannon interrupted me.

_What on Earth? Did the Gamemakers set a muttation on the Careers?_

There was another cannon.

_Are they just going to kill them all and leave me? I didn't even do anything. Why would they want me to win?_

I listened for the final cannon. It didn't come.

_Only one tribute left, _I thought. _One tribute. One tribute. One, one, one._

It couldn't be. I must have miscounted. I counted off the deaths on my fingers. Seventeen the first day. The frozen boy. The cannon this morning. Three more now. Twenty-two dead tributes. That left the other Career… and me. No, I must be wrong. That couldn't be everyone.

Even if it _was _just one Career, he still had a Cornucopia full of supplies. He could still wait as long as he needed. Or he could search every inch of the Arena until he finally found my hole.

_The Cornucopia._

The cannons came from around the same place the earlier ones did. The Career wasn't at the Cornucopia. He'd probably taken whatever he wanted and gone out to hunt for me and get the Games done with. There wouldn't be much left, but I could use anything I could find. He probably didn't ever plan to go back to the Cornucopia. He probably had tents and blankets and everything he needed. And if he did go back… the Games had to end eventually.

I took a last look back at my beloved shelter. It had done me good. I closed my eyes, braced myself, and launched out of my hole.

It was barren as I knew it would be. The icy ground seeped into my sock gloves and the knees of my pants. I stood up and started for the Cornucopia. I looked up at the sun. I should make it right as the sun was setting. Even if there wasn't much left in the Cornucopia, it was still a shelter. I'd be all right there for a night.

I walked through the thin layers of pine trees and shuffled through snow that got as deep as my hips. I didn't bother to cover my tracks. There was no wind, but the cold penetrated my bones and I knew I had to keep walking if I didn't want to freeze.

I reached the hill and started to climb. Going up was harder than going down. I kept slipping on the ice and I had to pull myself up step by step on the rocks.

When I reached the top it was almost dark. I saw the Cornucopia, and there were scattered packages and items inside it. I ran inside and looked around. There was a tarp, which I spread out to keep me off the ground. There was a first aid kit in one corner. I opened it up and wrapped the gauze around my hands and arms. I'd brought my bark with me just in case, but I needn't have worried- there were two opened packets filled with littler packets of dehydrated food. The Careers must have taken all they could carry and left the ones they didn't like. I opened a packet and tried the contents. It was some kind of cold soup. I was obviously meant to heat it up, but I didn't have the patience. It was the best thing I'd ever tasted.

I piled all the empty backpacks and anything remotely soft in the corner on my tarp. I crawled into the pile just as the cold was starting to hit. This was probably my last night alive, but at least I was spending it like a queen.


	13. Chapter 13

The anthem sounded as I was trying to get to sleep. I was warm enough to look, so I poked my head outside. Chrysolite's face showed up first, followed by two boys. That meant the other tribute must be the girl from Two. She was as good a murderer as any. I snuggled back under my tarp got to sleep.

A soft noise roused me. I sat up and looked out the end of the Cornucopia. It was too dark to see anything, but the noise continued. It sounded like a voice.

My muscles locked and my skin tightened.

_It's her, _I thought.

The feeling faded and everything slowed down. It didn't matter. I already knew this was going to happen. Time for me to die and then it would be over and I could go home.

_I had a good run, _I thought. _Might as well face it like a man. _

I got up and walked to the front of the Cornucopia. I looked out into the night and barely made out a prone figure twenty feet from the Cornucopia.

_Is she lying down? What, is she trying to ambush me?_

I knew she'd seen me. She was looking right into the Cornucopia. She didn't move, though. She just lay there and kept mumbling something.

_You don't have to draw it out. That's enough, _I thought. I looked around on the ground in the Cornucopia and found a small lantern with a crank on it. I turned the crank and a dim light came from the lantern.

I carried it with me and walked toward the girl. She didn't even look up at me. I stood over her and lifted the lantern for a better look.

I gasped. She was wearing nothing but an undershirt and panties. Her clothes were strewn in a trail behind her. A spear lay next to them. She was staring ahead and didn't seem to notice I was there. She was still mumbling.

I bent over.

"Hey, you gonna finish this or what?" I said.

She kept staring ahead.

"It's so warm out," she said. "Why is it so warm? It was so cold. Did I win? I just wanna go home."

"What?" I asked. "Are you all right?"

She finally looked up at me. She smiled.

"Hi, mom," she said. "I missed you. Can I come in? Hi, mom."

I knelt beside her. She took my hand. It was so cold it didn't seem as clammy and scary. It just seemed small. I knew she wouldn't hurt me.

I pressed the lantern against her cheek to try to warm her up. She sighed and cuddled up to it. She looked like a little girl with her blanket.

"Thanks, mom," she said. She wrapped her other hand around the lantern. It fell limply and her fingers curled around air.

"S'nice. I'm gunna need a bath, mom. Look a thiss," she said. She wiped at her waist and I saw she was bleeding. She laughed.

"M'all dirty."

Her breath was shallow. I could hardly see the wisp of fog from her mouth.

"M'tired, mom. M'take a nap," she said. Her eyes shut.

I squeezed her hand.

_Should I move her into the Cornucopia? Will that kill her? _I thought. She seemed comfortable, but it couldn't be healthy to lie in the snow in your underwear. Wasn't she cold? She wasn't shivering.

I couldn't see her breath anymore. She grew still.

"Hey," I said. I slapped her.

"Taenap," she mumbled. She didn't open her eyes.

I laid my head against her chest. I couldn't even hear her heart beat.

I slapped her again, as hard as I could. She didn't react. Her skin felt as cold as the snow. I clenched her hand as hard as I could and stared at her still lips.

"It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay," I whispered to her. I rocked gently back and forth.

Minutes passed. She seemed to get colder every second. Her hand was stiff.

A cannon went off.

I stayed by her and held her lifeless hand. She looked like she was sleeping peacefully at home. That's where she should have been. That's where we all should have been. She shouldn't be here, and she shouldn't be dead.

I heard a dim sound in the distance, but I didn't take my eyes off her. It wasn't important.

"_Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the twenty-third Hunger Games, Cornflower Fields!"_


	14. Chapter 14

Someone grabbed me from behind. I screamed and curled up as tightly as I could. I buried my head in my knees and trembled as something bundled me up and started carrying me. I squeezed my eyes shut and hyperventilated.

_Be okay be okay be okay be okay…_

I didn't open my eyes again until I was lying in a hospital bed. I was warm. I slid my fingers out from under the blankets and even the air was warm. I didn't know air could be warm.

I pulled the blanket over my head and curled back up. I closed my eyes and pressed my hands against my mouth.

_I just want to go to sleep, _I thought. _Stay here forever and never get up. _My body shook and I started to cry.

I heard a door open, and Fluvius burst in. He threw back the blanket and peered in at me.

"Cornflower! You won!" He shouted.

I shrieked and scuttled back under the blanket. I wrapped it around me and clenched it, whimpering.

Fluvius said something.

"What's wrong, Cornflower?"

I felt a hand patting me over the blanket. I shrank from it and wailed.

Another voice joined Fluvius', and then there was silence. I made myself smaller and smaller and pressed the blanket against my ears. I didn't think of anything.

I stayed in the bed for another five days. I could have gotten up after three, but I didn't see why I'd want to. Fluvius came in every day, but he stopped trying to hug me. He sat by the bed and talked nonstop about the Victory Tour and how exciting the Games had been and the coronation ceremony. The constant drone of his voice was soothing, and I didn't have to do any talking.

On the sixth morning I knew I had to get up. I slid my legs over the edge of the bed and hopped to the ground.

The floor was freezing cold. I gasped and leapt back into bed.

_Too cold too cold like ice like ice and snow._

Fluvius jumped up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Cold," I whispered.

Fluvius rang for a servant and brought me a pair of slippers. I put them on and walked gingerly to the door.

I stood back and waited for Fluvius to go first. I followed after him and stuck right behind him.

A crowd of people was waiting at the door. They started screaming when they saw me and clamored forward.

I shot back into my room and slammed the door. I slid to the floor and panted.

Fluvius called through the door a few minutes later.

"Cornflower, you can come out," he said. "The Peacekeepers shooed the crowd away."

I cracked open the door and peeked out. Only Fluvius was there. I slipped outside and followed him down a hall to another room. My stylists were inside.

"Cornflower!" they shrieked. I shrank against Fluvius.

"You look terrible! Come on, honey, let's make you fabulous," the leader said.

I sat on the prep table and curled my legs against my chest. One of the stylists lifted my arm to examine it. I pulled away and looked at the ground.

Fluvius said something to them. They gasped and looked over at me.

They approached slowly and stood a few steps back.

"Don't worry about your clothes. Nobody's going to see what's under there anyway," the tallest one said. "We're just going to put on a little makeup, okay? Are you ready?"

I nodded and braced myself. The shortest one came forward and brushed some powder on my face. She kept her movements slow and steady, and her touch was firm. I smiled a little and relaxed. The second one brushed the snarls out of my hair. It felt just like when Ma brushed it. They finished the process gently and tenderly, and only one moved at a time. By the time they were done, I was as relaxed as I'd ever been since I got Reaped.

The tallest one handed me a dress. It was blue and had long sleeves.

"Go ahead and put that on when you're ready. We'll wait in the next room," she said.

They filed out, and I slipped out of my hospital gown and put the dress on. I knocked on the door when I was done, and the stylists came back in.

As soon as they saw me they gasped in delight and clapped their hands to their mouths.

"Oh, you look stunning!" the shortest one said.

"Come, take a look," the middle one said. She herded me to a mirror as tall as I was.

There was blue paint outlining my eyes, and my cheeks were rosy pink. Golden glitter sprinkled over my face made my skin shine. My nails were painted dark blue, and my lips were painted purplish red.

"A cornflower dress for a cornflower girl," the tallest said.

I tried to smile. I _did _look nice, and I wasn't cold anymore. My stylists were nice, and Fluvius would stay with me through all the Capitol fuss.

It wasn't so bad after all. Everything was going to be all right.


	15. Chapter 15

_No. No. No. No. No. No._

I stood backstage with Fluvius, waiting for my cue. Any minute I would go onstage and do my final interview with Seutonius Cathode. We'd watch the recap of my Games, he'd congratulate me, and I'd get my crown. I was hyperventilating and trying not to cry as Fluvius tried vainly to soothe me.

"Don't worry, Cornflower. You'll do fine," he said. "You already won. Just be yourself."

If I could be myself I wouldn't be going out there. I wouldn't go out onto a barren stage with no little holes to hide in and no trees to cover me up. I wouldn't talk to people.

A stagehand stood in front of me.

"You're on," he said. I walked stiffly to the edge of the stage and waited for the theme to start.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, the victor of the twenty-third Hunger Games, Cornflower Fields!"_

I stepped forward into blinding lights. As my eyes adjusted, I could see hundreds upon hundreds of screaming people packed into the stands. They were all staring at me.

_Too many people. Too many people. Too many people._

I walked without thinking and folded myself up in my chair. Seutonius sat across from me and addressed the crowd.

"Here she is, ladies and gents! Isn't she a sight?" he said. The crowd roared in response.

Seutonius turned to face me.

"So, Cornflower, when did you know you were going to be the next Hunger Games Victor?" he asked.

"Never," I said. I was already crying in fear. I hoped it wouldn't show under the harsh lights.

"Modest as ever, folks," Seutonius said. There were scattered laughs.

"I'm sure we were all shocked by the way you cared for Shale as she died," he continued. "Weren't you scared?"

Shale. That was her name.

"She was dying," I said.

"I can see you don't want to waste time chatting when we have a recap to watch. Let's get it started," Seutonius said.

He waved his arm at the wall, and a film started playing on the screen that covered it.

I watched myself run off the platform and tear down the hill. The camera cut to the Bloodbath, and I watched three girls and two boys bleed and die. I stopped crying and my entire body stilled as I watched them stop twitching. The camera followed me as I built my shelter. It cut to night and I watched twelve tributes fall asleep and drift away. Leather was among them, and I was relieved to watch him die. I watched a boy stagger toward my shelter and crumple against a tree. I saw myself curled up in my shelter as still as death, and I saw myself run out and loot his body. I watched Chrysolite run the last non-Career through with her sword. The film cut again, and I watched the Careers turn against each other and start fighting. After one of the boys killed the other, Chrysolite and Shale surrounded him and Shale stabbed him with her spear. The two girls circled each other, and Chrysolite charged forward and slashed Shale across her waist. Shale pivoted and ran Chrysolite through. Then the film alternated between me climbing to the Cornucopia and Shale wandering around, looking for me and then just wandering. She started to sing a nonsense song as I reached the Cornucopia. As I was getting under my tarp she started mumbling, and right before she woke me she started peeling off her clothes. She fell to the ground as I got up. I watched as I took her hand and she grew colder. Her cannon went off, and the Anthem played. The film faded to black.

"How about that, folks?" Seutonius called to the crowd. "Now _that _was a show!"

"Do you have any final words? Some advice for further tributes?" Seutonius asked me.

I shook my head.

"Let's have a big round of applause for Cornflower Fields!" he cried. The crowd exploded in noise, and I sank down in my chair.

The Anthem played again, and President Galba stepped onto the stage holding a diamond-encrusted silver tiara. I shuddered when I saw it. It looked like it was made of ice. She solemnly placed it on my head. I flinched as her hands brushed against me. I looked at the ground and she stepped back.

"Well done," she said. "And now, the twenty-third Hunger Games comes to a close. Farewell, citizens of Panem, and may the odds be ever in your favor."

She swept away through a side door, and I darted backstage and stood next to Fluvius.

"Excellent job, Cornflower," he said. "You were magnificent."

"Can we go home now?" I asked. "I just want to go home."


	16. Epilogue

The Victory Tour went much better that expected. After I stuttered through two sentences of my speech at District One and then stood shaking until Fluvius ushered me offstage, the powers that be more or less decided I was unfit for the public. Fluvius took over the speeches and I silently appeared at each of the banquets and parties. By the time we got to Four people knew better than to ask me for a dance.

After a dismal day in Twelve we started back to Ten. I was almost home.

"Can I go to bed, bed, bed?" I asked Fluvius. Things got weird at night.

Fluvius excused me and I huddled under the blankets in my cabin.

"I'll be home soon. Home soon. Soon. Soon," I whispered.

The train stopped in Ten and I peeked outside. There was a huge crowd of people gathered at the station. They were cheering and jostling. I should have expected it, but it still made me sick to my stomach.

"Are you ready?" Fluvius asked.

I nodded and stuck close to him as we got off. The people cheered louder and surged forward to greet me. I pulled my coat tighter around me and my eyes widened. Most of the people drew back then, and I managed to get through the crowd.

_Where's Ma where's Ma where's Ma? _I thought.

"Ma? Ma?" I called pleadingly. My eyes filled with tears.

Ma materialized out of the crowd and ran toward me with open arms. She grabbed me in a hug and stood silently as she held me close.

"Can we go home?" I asked her.

She walked toward the path that led to the Victor's Village. I'd forgotten about that. Our Village was abandoned anyway. It was probably overrun with weeds.

When we reached it I saw someone had cleaned it up, probably while I was on the Victory Tour. I had my pick of any of the houses. I picked the one farthest in, tucked away in a corner. Officially it was my house, but there was no way I could live alone. Ma and I would go back to our old house to grab a few things later, but the house was already furnished and decorated. I found that it had a full basement with another door leading to a smaller room. I claimed that floor for myself and left the rest for Ma to fuss with. I loved shutting the front door, going to down the stairs, shutting the basement door, and shutting another door behind me when I went in my room. I felt safely cocooned and sealed off from the world.

A few weeks went by, and life returned to normal. I was rich and all, but other than that it was normal. For a few days people stood at the fence and cheered or catcalled, but I ignored them and they went away. Since it was clear I wasn't going to spend anything anytime soon, Ma went out and got me a truckload of new dresses and made me try them all on. I proceeded to continue not leaving the house and wore them in the basement.

I was used to my old farm with its huge lawn, so the Victor's Village seemed cramped and bare to me. On a particularly gloomy day when nobody was out, I started planting a garden that ran from my official yard and soon spread all over the Village. I asked Ma to buy some cows so it would feel like home again, but she said cows weren't allowed in the Victor's Village. We compromised and she brought home a flock of ducks. They weren't cows, but they would do. Their quacking was oddly soothing.

Ma never asked me about the Games. She obviously wanted me to go outside more, but she didn't press me. She seemed very laid-back about the whole deal. Even I could tell I was a total basket case, but she went on like everything was normal. I didn't talk about the Games much, either. There was so much she couldn't understand. Even though I hadn't killed anyone, just by living I doomed twenty-three other kids. I hoped Ma didn't think about that, and I didn't want to remind her.

The weather turned colder. I finally ventured out of the house with a very specific mission. I told Ma I wanted to go shopping, and she was delighted. She was less than delighted when I bought every blanket, winter coat, portable heater, and pair of gloves I could find. I filled the basement with them and kept the thermostat constantly at its highest setting.

Even in the basement I grew anxious. Every time I saw something pink it was Chrysolite's hair. Ma put an ice cube in her tea and I almost fainted. The slightest breeze sent me sprinting back into the house. Sometimes the world just seemed like a terribly big and scary place, and I had to lie down on the floor and recite my poem.

It was wonderful being back with Ma, but sometimes when she walked the floor squeaked and I knew it was the tribute I'd forgotten about coming back for me. No matter how long ago the Games were, I knew they weren't really over. There was another tribute I'd forgotten about, even though she was totally obvious. I knew I'd see her someday. I couldn't have won the Games. It just wasn't possible. There was something I was forgetting.

Ma moved into the next house over, which totally wasn't legal, but since the whole village was empty anyway nobody cared. Whenever I needed her she came right over, and she checked on me every few days in case I was too scared to ask.

Reaping time drew near again, and I knew I'd have to go out and talk to everyone again, not to mention prepare two children for almost certain death. The thought was terrifying, but it didn't seem quite as bad as it could be. I'd already done it once, and I'd already lived through the Hunger Games. It couldn't be much worse. I still wasn't looking forward to it, but I figured I could get through. I certainly wouldn't have chosen this life. It wasn't the best, but it was what I had.

The End

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**This is the last chapter of the story, but there will be one more chapter with some important stuff. Stay tuned!**


	17. Coming up!

**Author's Note:**

**First, I want to answer a few questions from the reviews.**

**1. Katniss didn't watch this game. I didn't check the continuity really close, so if she mentioned watching it, my bad XD Just pretend she didn't. In this story, she would have heard about it as an old legend, since these Games were notoriously dull.**

**2. Yeah, Cornflower Fields is a ridiculous name. I chose Cornflower because she lives on a farm and cornflowers are farm flowers. I figured Fields is a pretty common surname in 10, and it's based on real people like W.C. Fields and Sally Field. I guess it's almost as ridiculous a name as Effie Trinket :p**

**3. When Cornflower said she'd come home, she meant it literally. With my OCD, nothing ever seems permanent. My grandma died seven years ago, and I still think "well, she's dead now, but she'll come back." Nothing ever really sinks in. Cornflower honestly thought she'd die, then stop being dead and life would go back to normal.**

**Second order of business:**

** I enjoyed writing this so much I decided to do the SYOT I couldn't fairly do with this story! It'll be the 24****th**** Hunger Games and it will be the same universe, but that'll only affect the poor tributes from 10 who have Cornflower as a mentor. I'll set up the story and I hope you guys come participate!**

**The story's called 24 Years, 24 Tributes**


End file.
